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Comfort of our wildlife.

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  • Comfort of our wildlife.

    Now I dont know about the rest of you guys but here in dear old Blighty (Britain) we are freezing our nuts off. The lumpy water season is upon us and divorce lawyers are rubbing their hands together with glee as this heralds the next "happy time". Most of us guys are spending way too much time in the workshop chuckling away as we construct next years fiendish plot. Thanks to Mr Merrimans efforts I have no doubt that the spring will be a most uncomfortable time for our local ducks as torpedos start flying up and down the water.
    It is with this in mind that I post a request now rather than later. For the confort of our wildlife please smear a little vaseline on the heads of your D&E torps before firing.
    Last edited by RonP-UK; 11-28-2010, 05:35 PM. Reason: Crap spelling

  • #2
    ... or hot-pepper sauce, depending on your mood at the moment of deployment.

    Yes, Virginia, ducks can crack the sound-barrier, if properly motivated.

    PETA, call your office.

    "... well, that takes care of Jorgenson's theory!"


    • #3
      Lets hope that no one here is going to try it on themselves first, there are some strange people about.
      Next time someone points out it takes 42 muscles to frown, point out it will only take 4 muscles to b1tch slap them if they tell you how mnay muscles you need to smile:pop


      • #4
        Now thats just plain cruel David, funny, but cruel.


        • #5
          All jokes aside, the fastest way to get kicked off - what seems to be an ever shrinking supply of waterways where the hobby is allowed (certainly in my part of the world), is target the ducks and wildlife. Down here they are all protected by law.

          That said, where I sail often the wildlife can be a problem, had a couple of Mallard ducks pack rape and sink a Revell PT109 I had years ago, had a couple of Lace Monitor's escort me off the premises (, and the odd one of these tell me to hiss off

          Leave torpedoes for what they are intended - putting a sky-rocket up nanny state loosers who's idea of fun is driving a ready to run kiddies target in circles for hours, whilst *****ing and moaning about how evil and dark anyone with a sub is, and spending their time trying to legislate your rights away to clear you off the water. You know the type - spend most of their life flippin burgers, sponging off the taxes of hardworking others, can barely add four numbers together, is married to their palm or worse their sister. Give him a soapbox!
          John Slater

          Sydney Australia

          You would not steal a wallet so don't steal people's livelihood.
          Think of that before your buy "cheap" pirated goods or download others work protected by copyright. Theft is theft.



          • #6
            I feel a story coming on. About 15 years ago I was running a nitro powered outboard tunnel boat(Target) on Zephyrhills lake, taking a lazy broad right turn at about 35 to 40 MPH. There was a duck slowly meandering her way across in front of it. A combination of driving and not paying rapt attention and glare off the water caused me to not see the waterspace intruder until the last second. When I did see it it was hard to starboard! Instead of t-boning her, I broadsided her. Well she saw it coming and she kicked mightily and flapped her wings in defiance and started a commotion. It bowled her over but she was shaken but OK. She then announced to the world that the rape attempt was not succesful and she was going to use that lake anytime she bloody well pleased. Well in the ensueing melee her kick dislodged the alluminum engine tuned pipe which then fell off and promptly sank out of sight($50.00) I was expecting the worse but nobody said a thing. It could have been worse!
            Last edited by greenman407; 12-03-2010, 12:54 PM.


            • #7
              I feel a story coming on too, many years ago I was in the process of perfecting my own levelling device (it became the Salcon) and had been cruising Bourneville boating lake for some time.
              Bourneville lake is a genuine boating lake, built, along with Bourneville park, in the late 1800s by the Cadburys' for the relaxtion of their staff (nice people). A flock of Canada geese had taken to using the lake as a landing strip and nursery and I have to say they became a bloody pain in the arse (ass for Americans) A mother and her brood were cruising along nicely, minding their own business whe one of the young suddenly shot off in reverse at quite some speed. He started squarking to mum and she turned to attack whatever it was that had accosted her young. I knew my U-boat was around there somewhere so surfaced to have a look, right under the duckling. He was perched on the after deck of my U-Boat and just stood there enjoying the ride. I figured I might lose in a battle with a full grown goose so dived down and stopped motors. The duckiling stayed on the surface for a while and then buggered off at high speed to catch up with his group. No damage to goose or boat but the sight of a young goose travelling backward a that speed makes me smile even now over 30 years later.
              Last edited by RonP-UK; 12-06-2010, 04:40 AM. Reason: crap spelling and punctuation


              • #8
                Ron, Too bad you didnt have a video camera, youd have won first place with ease. Americas funniest home videos would have had you on the show for sure.